


Summer Haze

by sephet



Series: The Kids Aren't Alright [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-30 15:26:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6430024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephet/pseuds/sephet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little fraud, a little theft, and the best summer ever</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Seeing You Again

Late July heat was making even the idea of school shopping appealing. Locus had a month until he would need supplies but the high temperature and smothering humidity made the air conditioned Wal-Mart seem like a paradise.

It was only on days like these that Locus actually considered cutting his hair. It meant a lot to him to keep it long, but sometimes it was just too hot against his neck, braid or no. It had been a very quiet month. The home he was living in was mostly for people with short stays, people on the move or in transition. Most of them were around his age, there weren’t a lot of people who wanted teenagers that weren’t theirs. 

It was a good home, a little chaotic but the heat had smothered everyone’s energy level lately. Somehow temperatures around 95 seemed to take the wind out of everyone’s sails.

He kept hoping one day Felix would show up on his door, but it hadn’t happened. He was starting to think maybe it wouldn’t. Every now and then he imagined showing up at Felix’s house and running off with him, to hell with his mother. But Felix hadn’t told him where he lived… possibly for fear of exactly that sort of thing.

He had just pushed the idea from his mind when he felt a tug at his braid. He spun, carefully as he almost expected a child. 

“Sup asshole.” 

“ _Felix_?” It was probably nothing remotely cosmic, Locus spent a lot of time thinking about Felix. It made chances pretty good that if he ever did run into Felix he’d have been thinking of him recently. It still made Locus want to laugh.

Even more he wanted to pull Felix into his arms. He heard Felix laugh, and felt him wrap his arms around his neck, and then they were kissing. It was probably not the best behaviour for the middle of Wal-Mart, but a month felt like too long to go without having Felix in his arms.

“Oh good, you missed me too.” Felix grinned as Locus finally let him fall back. His lip was split, and his eye was black, and there were bruises in patches all over his arms. “God fucking damn it how is a month that long, right?

“It’s been very long.” Locus cupped Felix’s face and kissed him again, feeling him laugh against his mouth. “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“You’re such a sap.” Felix grinned and took his hands in his. Then grinned wider when he looked them over. “You wear the ring.”

“I do.” Locus nodded. He felt like the world had suddenly clicked back into the proper order. Everything was right now that Felix was back in his life. “I was starting to think I wasn’t going to see you until September.”

“Nope. I escaped. It was very daring. I stopped by the address you gave me an’ they said you were probably here.” Felix explained with a shrug. “So I hunted you down.”

“So I see.” Locus squeezed Felix’s hands gently. 

“So I have this plan.” Felix began with a grin, and Locus raised an eyebrow slowly. “Don’t give me that look it’s a good plan. You’ll like the plan. Probably. You should.”

Felix was bouncing on his toes, and it was such a familiar action Locus felt suddenly at home, even in the stationary aisle of Wal-Mart.

“I have a hotel booked for like a week. It was a pain in the ass but whatever it’s booked and shit. You should stay with me. There’s like cable and a fuckin’ actual real bed with like… memory foam and shit. It’s great. The bathtub is like the size of our beds at school. Definitely totally please come with me?”

“How did you afford a hotel room for a week?” Locus wrinkled his nose, but smiled despite himself. He’d missed Felix so much, and Felix was so excited. “How did you even book it.”

“Are you sure you wanna know the answer to that?” Felix’s grin widened and Locus sighed a soft laugh.

He rested his forehead against Felix’s and waited a moment before answering. “All right. I don’t think I see a problem with that idea.”

“Great! That’s awesome! There is one problem and it’s we have to stop at my home really quick, _but_ in the grand scheme of problems not that hard. My mother was wasted this morning she’s probably passed out by now. So in and out, right?” Felix leaned in to steal another kiss. 

“This seems slightly more than a small problem. Why didn’t you bring everything with you when you left?” Locus brushed his fingers against Felix’s cheek. His face was less round than it had been a month ago. He was losing weight again.

“Because I had to leave in a huge hurry and I forgot some shit. Also I didn’t think about a couple things until I was heading here and I thought ‘well shit that would be useful’ and uh. Then I was here and either way it doesn’t matter. Quick in and out.” Felix grinned hopefully and Locus sighed, giving in.

“All right. I just need to--”

“We’ll come back for it. I need to pick up some cash, so we’ll go shopping, so we can come back for your notebooks and it’ll be great. Okay? I don’t want to wait long enough that she’s maybe awake.” Felix licked the split in his lip and Locus wanted to kiss him again, but he forced himself to focus. 

“All right. Lead the way, then.” At least this way Locus would know where Felix lived for the future.

\---

Felix’s house was much, much larger than Locus was expecting. The way Felix talked about his childhood, Locus had kind of expected him to be poor. This was the kind of house people owned when they were _wealthy_.

“Okay be real fucking quiet I’ll check if she’s passed out. If she isn’t we book it and come back later. Don’t need to deal with that shit.” Felix was already whispering as he eased the front door open, unlocking it with his own key and punching a code into the wall panel. This was certainly his home. He knew it well enough. He walked as softly as he could into the front room then peeked into a large living area. A TV was blaring some talk show, and the woman Locus recognised as Felix’s mother was seemingly asleep on the couch.

He nodded and held a finger to his lips and gestured for Locus to follow him to a staircase and up. “Okay, so mostly we’re picking up cash. I have a bag in the shed in the back yard I didn’t get a chance to grab but…”

He was walking towards a closet at the end of the hall and easing it open. Locus got distracted, however, by another small door. Another closet, or storage room… this door had a deadbolt on it. He’d never seen someone put a deadbolt on an inside door before. “What’s this for?” He felt himself asking before he thought better of it.

“To keep me from getting out.” Felix answered flippantly, as if it was casual. As if it wasn’t horrifying. He was digging in the back of what looked to be a towel closet, looking for something. “Come on I know it’s--” There was a click and he grinned. “There we go. She’s a fucking nut case. She thinks she’s gonna get cut off, so she hoards cash like a fucking drunk squirrel.”

Locus was only half listening. The rest of his mind was occupied by the deadbolted door. That was Felix’s room. That’s where Felix grew up. It was something that would fill in the background to everything Felix talked about. Locus couldn’t resist. He reached to open the door.

The first thing Locus noticed when he pushed the door open was the smell. Human waste, and filth gone rotten with age. The walls were covered in drawings, ranging from a small child’s stick figures to a teen’s more intricate patterns. The only things in the small room were a futon matt and a bucket.

Felix hissed and pulled the door shut in a way that made it seem like he was almost going to slam it, then remembered they were being quiet. “Forget that.” 

He then put a large roll of bills in Locus’ hand. It was covered liberally with dust but it still looked valid. And like a _lot_ of money.

“Like the drunk squirrel she is, she forgets where she hides her nuts.” Felix grinned in his best ‘we’re dismissing that last topic’ way. “So she’s not gonna miss it. She doesn’t remember she’s got it.” 

Felix had his own roll he was shoving into the pocket of his very tattered looking jeans. Locus had to wonder just _how much_ Felix’s mother had if she could forget she had _this_ much. The roll was about as thick as a pop can, and it seemed to be made up of hundreds.

“C’mon we gotta go out back and grab my bag, then we’re home free.” Felix grabbed his arm and lead him back down the stairs, this time back through a kitchen. He hadn’t been making any of it up about the locked fridge. There was a large padlock bolting the door shut. Locus felt a little numb, but Felix tugged him along into the back yard to a large gardening shed. “Stay here. If you see anything, bolt. I’ll either catch up with you or… uh. Just go home and maybe I’ll catch up with you.” 

Felix ducked into the shed and Locus felt very, very nervous about all of this. For one this was probably robbery. At least a little. It was Felix’s home, but they were taking a significant amount of money away from his mother. Even if, as Felix said, she didn’t remember having it.

When Felix finally popped his head out, dufflebag slung over his shoulder, Locus breathed a sigh of relief. “Right. Let’s boogie.” 

They ran off across the grass and when they were far enough away from the house for Felix’s comfort he began to laugh. “Oh my god. Okay. This is great. I checked in at the hotel do you wanna stop there? Go get some supplies and shit? Takeout?” He was bouncing with a sort of evil glee.

“Are you sure we should use this? This isn’t--” Locus looked uncertainly at the cash in his hand, Felix pushed the hand back and cut him off.

“Okay seriously put that away dumbass.” Felix rolled his eyes as Locus uneasily wedged it into his pocket. “And yes. Absolutely sure. She won’t notice. If you start to feel bad about it, remember it’s my mother and stop. She’s a fucking heiress. Or was. I don’t think she’s inheriting anymore, but she’s still got no problems with cash flow. As you may have noticed.”

Locus had also noticed that Felix’s jeans had likely come from a thrift shop, his tank top was from an old one of those five undershirts for five dollars bags, and his boots were falling apart on his feet. It was a very uncomfortable contrast.

“Either way. We’re gonna have a great week. Memory foam mattresses.” Felix was tugging at his arm and ultimately, that was much more tempting than whatever morality lay in leaving forgotten money in a monster’s closet.

\---

Felix had lead Locus to a relatively basic hotel. He’d used his mother’s credit card and while her spending habits wouldn’t pop up ‘One week in the fanciest of Holiday Inn suites’ it would probably throw some red flags if he tried something classy.

But still it had a fucking jacuzzi tub so most arguments were invalid anyway. “See? Check out that fucking tub. It’s got jets and shit.”

Locus looked amused, but wasn’t quite on Felix’s level of excitement. Felix was probably running on enough adrenaline to fuel an army though so that was probably unlikely to happen. It wasn’t like Locus did giddy excitement anyway.

Felix threw his bag in the closet and pulled out his roll of bills. “Okay. We’ll sort out how much cash we have. Then we can go get some supplies. I have to do some clothes shopping because I basically have this, but other than that this is all vacation fund. Or something.”

“All right.” Locus pulled out his own roll and handed it to Felix who hopped on the bed and began counting out bills.

When he was finally finished Locus looked deeply uncomfortable. Felix tapped his fingers on his knees and looked at each pile of ten bills he’d made. There were a lot of piles.

“Wow my mother’s a fucking cunt.” 

“...that’s what you’re getting from this situation?” Locus said blandly, eyebrows raised.

“Well… I mean she has enough money that she can forget…” Felix paused then tried to count the piles again.

“There is $50,000 here. Felix.” Locus’ voice was a little bit unsteady. “Felix. What the _fuck_.”

“Shut up. I didn’t realise it was this much. She’s literally forgotten about it. It’s been there for _6 years_.”

“How does a person forget $50,000. Felix.” Locus sat down on the lounger across from the bed and just stared at him. “I feel like we robbed a bank.”

“We did not rob a bank. We. Um. Look I’m probably not on the will so let’s call this my inheritance? Like I mean. What those fucks put me through it’s totally worth this much right? Like… but shit we can’t carry this kind of cash around. We will straight up die.”

Locus covered his face with his hands. “I… can’t really argue these points, but… fuck.”

“Look this just means. Like… We save some for next summer, right? Or another hotel? Most hotels don’t accept cash though. God damn I didn’t know she had this much money. She literally has like 50 little hidey holes like that.” Felix began collecting the money back together into a pile. 

“What are we going to do.” Locus looked like he was going through some sort of crisis. Like the world was falling apart under his feet and everything was collapsing around him. 

“Well. First, do you have a bank account? Because like really we can’t carry this much cash around.” Felix scratched his head and wrapped the bills back up in the elastic bands they’d come in.

“I can’t just deposit _$50,000_.” Locus breathed slowly and slumped back in the chair. “That will… that is so many red flags. I don’t have any reason at all to have an income like this.”

“Fuck… and I don’t have any ID, I can’t open an account…”

“How do you not have any ID?”

“Well I have a fake ID but that doesn’t help us open a bank account.” Felix let out an exasperated breath of air and collapsed back onto the bed. “You know what, fuck it. Cash doesn’t leave a paper trail. This place has one of those little safes. We store some, we spend a bunch. We can both get some like… like nice clothes and shit.”

“Felix.” Locus’ did not sound convinced. Felix felt like screaming. 

Felix was pissed, his mother kept this kind of money like pocket change. He’d known she’d had money, he just didn’t realise how much. He wanted to go back and raid every cent she’d hoarded. He’d never had anything in his stupid worthless childhood and she had _forgotten_ about $50,000. He sprung off the bed.

“Okay. Locus.” He walked over to Locus and clutched his face in his hands. “She doesn’t know the money is missing. She doesn’t know I’m missing. Even if she knew I was missing she wouldn’t care, but she doesn’t know about the money. I want you to think about this. She has enough money that she can _forget_ this cash. And more. There could very well be a million bucks lost in that hell hole somewhere.” Locus still looked unsure. “Look I’m not saying we go back and raid the place, I’m saying. Let’s, right now, have the best fucking week in the history of teenagers.”

“And if she charges us with theft?” Locus said dryly.

“Then the police have to investigate our home. Do you think she wants _anyone_ , let alone the _police_ to find my bedroom?” That seemed to help. Something went briefly cold about Locus’ expression, then he nodded.

“All right.” Locus agreed with a slow sigh. “But. No alcohol.”

Felix considered that, then nodded. “Okay. No alcohol. Just the best of shitty take-out and… I dunno pepsi? All those refined sugars we aren’t allowed at school?”

“All right. Yeah, all right. Pepsi’s allowed.”

Felix howled with laughter and launched himself back on the bed. This was going to be the best week ever.


	2. Shopping Spree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Locus go shopping and have generally a pretty good day

Seeing Locus out of his school uniform or school approved clothing in general was _delightful_. It turned out he wore t-shirts, and Felix was grateful to whoever had seen to it that Locus wore t-shirts that fit. It meant that Felix could basically see his muscles shifting as he moved. That was enough to make anything fascinating.

Not that shopping in itself wasn’t fascinating. Locus had ended up bringing them back to the Wal-Mart, because even if they had money that didn’t mean spending it recklessly if they didn’t need to. And it was where Locus apparently was used to shopping, so Felix followed him. He’d even found a few pairs of jeans that fit, and a couple shirts that were comfortable, and some pyjamas because it seemed like if you had the money _for_ pyjamas you should totally get pyjamas.

“Okay so hear me out.” Felix said, clutching a box of wine glasses to his chest. “We get some sort of bubbly juice, and then drink it in the giant bath tub like classy bitches. Like we’ll get paper plates and cups for everything else _but_. Classy. Bitches.”

Locus laughed and shook his head. “All right put them in the cart.”

Shopping was turning out to be a lot of fun. They got Locus’ school supplies and Felix’s while they were at it, even though he would probably have forgotten again. Then some paper plates and cups and just in general shit to eat with for the week. Then they had found the food section. Their hotel had a fridge, and Locus had some idea of what a week’s worth of snacks looked like, though they’d decided take-out for meals was how they were going to swing things. The still got a case of Pepsi and some bubbling peach juice and just a shitton of chips and candy. 

Then they decided that the smart thing to do would be to buy gift cards. There was a wrack of cards near the front and it seemed a lot less dangerous to carry gift cards around with them than such an unreasonable amount of cash. 

“Why are you getting itunes cards?” Locus was studying the locations available on a restaraunt card when looked over at Felix. 

“Well. I figure next stop we get laptops? That’s actually shit we can make use of in the future. Even if Charon doesn’t have wifi we can still _use_ them. Typing out reports and notes seems a lot more practical than all this by hand bullshit, right?” Felix shrugged. “And with the power of itunes cards we can bring music to school. And it seems a like it’d be a lot nicer to have music in the dorms than to just be quiet all the time?”

Locus considered that, then nodded. “All right. That makes sense. You realise it’s going to look very strange buying two laptops with cash, though. Right?”

“Well… Then we hit up two different locations. Sure it’s a _little_ weird buying one with cash, but not _as_ weird.” Felix snorted with a shrug. “Besides we’re still _paying_. We’re just not paying like how our generation is supposed to pay.”

Locus sighed. “True enough.”

\---

Felix collapsed back onto the bed with a satisfied groan, then laughed. “Oh my god this is amazing.”

Locus couldn’t _really_ disagree. He just had to think about Felix’s bedroom to stop feeling guilty about the money. Though he still felt very self-conscious paying for things in cash. It was noticeable, he thought. At least for big purchases.

“Have you ever had _this much stuff_ in your whole life?” Felix bounced back off the bed to begin tearing through their bags. “I showered at a YMCA this morning. And I’m gonna take a bubble bath that smells like this sparkly thing tonight.” He dragged out a puck of what was apparently bubble bath and grinned at Locus.

“Why did you shower at the YMCA?” Locus frowned a little but Felix waved a hand.

“If you show up looking young and pathetic enough they let you use the showers. Like for their pools right? You just can’t go in the actual pool. Someone’ll check. Either way. Suffice it to say this morning I looked kinda pathetic. And gross. _So_. I showered at the Y, put on clothes from a donation bin and hoofed it to find you. Story of my day. Much better ending than beginning.” Felix stripped out of said clothes and kicked them aside, digging out more things from their bags. 

“Why didn’t--”

“You don’t want the answer to these questions. Focus on the now. And in the now we have sparkling juice, and sparkling bubble baths. Kay?” Felix bounced to his feet with a grin. “Oh and apparently there are take-out menus all over this place. Order what you like I dunno much that wasn’t served at Charon.”

Locus looked around, and spotted the pile of menus and advertisements beside the phone, along with a list of services the hotel offered. He listened to Felix bustling around in the room behind them. The bathtub was in the room beside the bed, instead of the bathroom which had a standard shower. Locus figured it was a luxury thing so people could watch TV while they were in the bath. He didn’t completely understand it but he wasn’t going to argue. It did sound a little relaxing. He found a menu for a Chinese Food place and called in an order as Felix ran around the room putting things in the fridge or on the bed or in the bath or by the sink. He seemed a lot more organised than he ever did in Charon, but Locus guessed it was the energy he needed to burn and not an actual need to organise. 

Locus had only a couple times had homes that weren’t in some way stable. He’d always had clothes, and he’d always had _some_ sort of food (at least most of the time) and he’d always been able to get clean. He hadn’t realised that Felix might come from a rich family, and still be so poor. He wanted to ask, but didn’t want to ruin Felix’s mood.

“Okay. We probably shouldn’t get naked until food arrives.” Felix announced as if he wasn’t standing in the middle of the room in only his boxers. “So I mean if I just run the bath hot it’ll just stay hot until we get in it. I mean it’s got those jets that means the bubbles won’t go away until we’re good and ready for them to go away, right?”

“That should work, yes.” Locus smiled, Felix was right. Even though the day had started on a troubling note, it was getting significantly better. “Are you going to be able to eat much?”

“Huh?” Felix frowned and made a face, crossing his arms. “I mean probably. I haven’t eaten a lot this month but I still wanna try the shit you ordered and like at least half of this junk we bought.”

“All right. Just don’t make yourself sick.” Locus reached out and patted Felix’s head. 

He made a face. “Stop taking care of me. I’m pampering you now. It’s my turn.” 

“Okay.” Locus almost laughed as Felix scowled at him. Almost. Standing in only his boxers Locus could see that Felix had a collection of bruises in a rainbow of shades. “You can pamper me.”

“ _Excellent_.” Felix grinned wider, despite the way it probably hurt his lip to do so. “I’ll run the bath. Then maybe TV? I mean that’s why the bath’s in the room with the TV right?”

“That is what I’d assumed.” Locus nodded as Felix bounced on the balls of his feet. 

“Sweet. You pick something on that too. Even if it just plays in the background or whatever.” Felix ran to find something else to fiddle with and Locus leaned back to watch. Felix was damaged again, hurt and it was hard to forget a lot of the things Locus had seen today. But seeing Felix, and seeing him happy… it was still beautiful to watch. Locus enjoyed watching Felix move, every now and then he hit a point that seemed graceful and calculated and Locus could see the muscles shift and all together… Everything that came together to make Felix, it was breathtaking.

He had missed him so much. More than he thought it could be possible to miss someone over the span of just a month. But even as a whirlwind of chaos Felix brought a light into Locus’ life. Over and over again he’d found himself thinking little things it would be interesting to tell Felix about, and over and over again he’d remembered that he couldn’t. What had been normal had become extraordinarily painful now that he knew how much better life could be.

He didn’t want to let Felix go. He wondered if there was a way to stretch this week out to September.

“So, like, what even is your birthday, anyway?” Felix asked, he looked as if he had been saying something before that, but Locus had been very distracted watching him move.

“What?”

“Your birthday? Are you seventeen yet?” Felix laughed at Locus’ expression and walked over to him on his toes. “Focus?”

“It’s. No, I’m still sixteen. I turn seventeen on the third of September.” Locus answered, reaching to cup Felix’s face in his hands. “Why?”

“I wanted to know if I’d missed it.” Felix admitted, and pulled Locus down for a kiss. “So it’s basically right about when school starts, huh?”

“Basically.” Locus smiled and kissed Felix again, slower and deeper, pulling him close. 

“Mm… we’ll have to celebrate early then. We can celebrate again at school, but I mean. This is a prime time for celebration.” Felix shivered as Locus trailed kisses down his neck and puffed a shaky breath. “Locus…”

“A celebration sounds like a good idea.” Locus murmured and sucked a kiss above Felix’s collarbone. Felix let out a muffled gasp and clung to Locus’ shirt.

“Jesus christ.” Felix shivered in Locus’ grip, then pushed him a little. “W-we need to. Not be naked until food comes. We need to be decent when someone delivers food.” 

Locus smiled and kissed Felix one more time. “If you insist.”

“Oh my god, Locus.” Felix laughed breathlessly and bit his bottom lip lightly. He hesitated a moment before leaning his head against Locus’ chest and laughing. “The things we will do. I promise. For now, we will not… put on a show, for whoever delivers our food.”

Locus let Felix go, and he shook himself all over and laughed. 

“You are _bad_. I’ll make that up to you.” Felix flicked his tongue with a wicked grin, then bounded back to check on the tub.

\---

Felix insisted they make out on the bed first, because he wanted to _soak_ in the bath, and that would be a _little_ gross if they fucked in it first. Locus had laughed and agreed and Felix had basically jumped him because next to that little gasping moan he made when he came, laughter was basically the sexiest sound Locus made.

Which lead to their boneless and comfortable relaxation in the massive bubble-filled bathtub. Sipping sparkling juice out of wine glasses and picking apart Chinese takeout while some action movie played on the big screen TV.

“People punch people in the face way too much on TV.” Felix pointed out, gesturing with his fork as he leaned back against Locus’ chest. “Like, buddy, that’s definitely a broken hand right there. Do you know how strong the skull is?”

Locus snorted and kissed his temple lightly. “So far as I remember you’re pretty fond of breaking people’s noses.”

“That’s like. The only place on the face where it makes sense to punch. The nose will buckle under a fist. The fist will buckle against most other places on the skull.” Felix huffed and popped a piece of broccoli in his mouth, chewing carefully. “It’s a completely different strategy.”

“I see.” Locus smiled, relaxing back against the tub.

“Oh don’t give me that, _you’re_ still lucky you didn’t get fuckin’ gangrene. Asshole.” Felix snorted, but relaxed too. 

Locus considered that. “It was still worth it.”

“It would be worth it if your hand rotted off?” Felix asked sarcastically. “No. No it would not have been worth it. There are far better things for your hand to be doing than rotting off because you don’t know how to throw a punch.”

“I know _how_ to throw a punch.” Locus protested.

“Oh it’s just not _where_ to throw a punch, then?” Felix tilted his head to look back up at him. 

“...something like that.” Locus shrugged a little. “I wasn’t really thinking very much at the time.”

“I guess that’s what happens if you never get angry. See I get angry _all the time_. And now I know how to do things while I’m in a rage. Totally a better strategy.” Felix rolled his eyes, but pulled Locus’ hand back to kiss the little scar on one of his knuckles. “Just be careful.”

“I feel like I’m not really the one that needs that warning.” Locus murmured dryly as he pressed a kiss to the top of Felix’s head.

“Well. I’ll try. But fucking up is kind of my _thing_.” Felix closed his eyes and tried to just… _keep_ this moment a little longer. “But for you, I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask.”


	3. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Locus digs a little deeper

Locus woke up slowly, to the sight of Felix leaning against the windowsill watching the sun rise. The fact that the sun was still rising meant Felix’s habit of waking up at ungodly hours was not school exclusive. In most other situations Locus would have rolled over and gone back to sleep, but there were traces of shimmer stuck to Felix’s body and the sun bounced off him in… just the right way. He looked radiant and glowing, the lighting was just right that Locus couldn’t make out any of the bruises. Felix just looked like he was made of sunlight and warmth and it was an image Locus wanted to remember forever.

He looked happy. He so rarely _just_ looked happy. He could look gleeful and mischievous, dangerous and giddy, he could smile weakly against pain, and twitch a manic sort of grin… but rarely was he just happy. This morning, glinting in the sunlight, Felix was relaxed and content, looking out the window with eyes shining with life. It was breathtaking and perfect and Locus wanted to hold this moment in his mind. He wanted to keep this, more than the tears and the blood and desperate confessions, he wanted just to hold this moment. Content, warm, comfortable. For at least the next week things could be safe and stable and without fear.

Felix looked back at him and saw that he was awake, and beamed with a kind of joy that made Locus’ heart ache. He wanted to make this a reality for Felix. He wanted to make a world where Felix could smile like that every day. He reached out and Felix crawled back into the bed to join him. 

Their kisses were slow and building. He clutched at Felix as his hands travelled over Locus’ body, mapping him out and making him gasp. Felix laughed against his mouth and rolled Locus over to straddle his hips. Locus let his hands slide down Felix’s sides to rest on his thighs as Felix shifted with a sigh.

Felix was the most beautiful person Locus had ever known. And every moment he spent moving with him, feeling him against his body was ecstasy. He never wanted to let go.

When they finished and Felix collapsed messy and laughing beside him onto the bed, Locus couldn’t help but feel like the morning was made up of perfect moments. Felix looked back at him, flushed and panting and smiling like everything was just right in the world and Locus took his hand and twined their fingers together.

“I think I could do this for the rest of my life…” He mumbled, still half dazed and just… so very content.

Felix laughed and kissed Locus’ fingers lightly. “Well we can try.”

\---

“So, did I miss your birthday?” Locus asked as he finished tying his hair into a braid, he was getting to have a lot of hair. He was beginning to wonder if there would ever be a point where it would actually be dry again.

“What?” Felix looked up from tying his boots and frowned at him.

“Your birthday.” Locus said again. “When was it? If we’re celebrating mine early, when do we celebrate yours?”

Felix made a face, and Locus remembered how evasive he could be when it came to his age. “Well. I have it narrowed down to either the middle of summer or between Christmas and New Years. So it _might_ be my birthday…”

“How… you don’t know when your birthday is.” Locus was starting to wonder if there was going to be a point where Felix’s life stopped being troubling.

“Well. I’ve tried finding my birth certificate, but I haven’t. And my mom sometimes writes different dates on different forms. At this point I don’t know if she legitimately doesn’t know or if she’s fucking with me. There’s probably official record somewhere but I haven’t gotten a hold of it yet.” Felix tapped his knees and shrugged a little. “I have seriously tried to go through everything in that goddamn house though. I need to find it if I want to do goddamn anything. Like at all.”

Locus winced a little realising the implications. “Is there anywhere else you haven’t tried? This may be something to get the police involved in.” To be honest Locus has been pretty sure the police should have been involved a long time ago.

Felix groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. “There would be so much trouble over that though. At least I know how to make my way through life like this, if I bring cops in on this issue everything goes out the window. I really don’t want to if I don’t have to. I might just be missing something. Like I can start looking again this summer sometime. Or… something.”

Locus sighed softly. “I can go back with you and we can search?”

“At the end of the week. I don’t want to risk this week. This week is going to be great the end.” Felix announced bouncing to his feet. “We won’t let her ruin it.”

“Allright.” Locus shook his head and got to his feet as well. “At the end of the week we’ll go looking. If we can’t find it we have to at least plan to get authorities involved. Before you probably turn eighteen?”

“Yeah. Totally. I wanna get a job when I graduate so totally. We’ll figure it out.” Felix waved a hand. “So what do we do today?”

“Well, if you don’t know when your birthday is, and we’re celebrating my birthday anyway, how about we get cake. That seems the most logical step.” Locus patted Felix lightly on the head and smiled when he made a face.

“Okay. Cake. We can do cake. No ice cream cake though. So like some fancy bakery shit? Like you always see on TV. There’s gotta be something like that here right?” Felix grinned and began bouncing on his toes again. “With that weird icing playdough.”

“Fondant?” Locus raised an eyebrow. “We can probably find a professional bakery with cakes that have fondant, yes.”

“ _Awesome_.”

\---

They got a little sidetracked from cake. Felix had discovered a park and run to it in the same excited way he’d run out into the snow at Christmas. It was a big ravine, trees lining either side with foot trails throughout. Felix had thrown out his arms, speckled with sunlight filtering through the trees. 

“This. Is an adventure we have to have.” He’d declared and Locus was powerless to resist.

Gravel and stray branches crunched underfoot as they made their way through the trees. It wasn’t quite the journey through Middle Earth that Felix almost seemed to be expecting but it was peaceful. They’d both easily forgotten the heat while tucked away in their air conditioned hotel room, though, and it was making itself very well known.

Felix had removed his shirt at some point and was carrying it as he occasionally ran into the trees to find whatever distracting broken branch or fallen log.

Locus spent a long time watching his back, half transfixed by the shift of muscle, and half mapping each bruise. Eventually he worked up the nerve to say, “Don’t go back.”

“What?” Felix looked up at him. “Don’t go back where?”

“To that house. To your mother. Don’t go back.” Locus frowned and stopped walking. “Please.”

“Locus.” Felix sighed and slung his shirt over his shoulder. 

“When the week ends we can figure something out. You can come with me. I--”

“And then what, Locus? I can’t just disappear forever. Not yet.” Felix shook his head. “By the end of the week it’s what, three weeks until school starts again? That’s nothing.”

“It’s not _nothing_. Felix, look at yourself.” Locus gestured with a sigh. “You can’t do that for another three weeks.”

“Locus. I have been doing this my whole life, three weeks isn’t going to make a difference.” Felix shrugged dismissively. “This is normal.”

“It’s not. It’s not _normal_. Felix this is anything _but_ normal.” Locus sighed and reached for him. 

“It’s normal for _me_.” Felix stepped back and watched Locus with narrowed eyes. “This is my life, Locus. You don’t have to… _fix_ it.”

“Felix.” Locus slowly dropped his hand as Felix stepped back. “I don’t want to see you hurt like this.”

“ _So don’t look at me_.” Felix hissed shoulders coming up as he bared his teeth. “You don’t have to see me like anything. But this is what I _am_. I’m not some fucking princess in a tower. You don’t need to _save_ me.”

Locus felt his shoulders slump, Felix just looked so much like a scared animal he wanted to seem less threatening. “Felix.”

“ _No_ , Locus. I’m handling it. I got what, three weeks now, two months next summer, then I get out. You don’t need to jump in and fix my problems. I don’t _need you_ to fix my problems.” Felix was gesturing wildly now, breathing hard. “She’s not gonna be the last person to hit me I’m fucking _fine_.”

“You don’t hit her back.” Locus finally stated bluntly. “You don’t… Felix look at your hands, do you even defend yourself when she hits you? I have never seen you flinch in a fight, but she raised her hand at Christmas and you just… She’s not the only one that hits you but it matters more when she does.”

Felix breathed through his teeth and looked away. “It wouldn’t help anything. She runs out of steam and she stops. That’s how you deal with her, okay? I’ve done this my whole life, I know what I’m doing.” 

“And what if she kills you.” Locus reached out and grabbed Felix’s arm. “This one’s at least a week old, that one could be from yesterday for all it’s still red. Here and here and here. How hard did she hit you in the ribs to leave a bruise this large, even while it’s green?” Locus pointed out bruise after bruise. “Is there anywhere she doesn’t hit you? What if she kills you.”

Felix stared at Locus, frozen in his grip. “I’m not dead yet.”

“That just means she hasn’t hit you hard enough yet.” Locus shook his head. “Have you looked in the mirror? How badly did she hit you to make your eye swell like that, even days later? Do you know how easy it is to get brain damage from a hit like that?”

Felix pulled his arm out of Locus’ grip and rubbed his arm idly as he looked away. “You’re making it into something bigger than it is. This is how it’s always been.”

“And how’s it going to end, Felix? When she puts you in the hospital? How many times _has_ she put you in the hospital?” Locus sighed, then crossed his arms. “Is she how you know what broken ribs feel like? How you know a concussion well enough to diagnose yourself with one?”

Felix swallowed thickly and licked his split lip as he struggled for an answer. “So what do I do? You think it’s so easy to just stop this shit? What I go to the police? Then what? I go through all the legal bullshit, have to go through investigations. Tell people… people I don’t _know_ what happened? And then what? They take me away and put me where? Some part of the system. Some other school. Then what do I have?”

“Safety. What does another school matter, Felix? If you’re safe-”

“ _You_! You wouldn’t be there!” Felix threw his hands in the air. “You wouldn’t be at some other school, asshole! They take me out, they take me outta Charon and… and what. I don’t see you again? I don’t. I don’t _care_ about anyone else.” Felix pulled his hands in to his chest, shrugging helplessly. “I have _never_ cared about anyone. So I don’t care. I don’t care if she hits me, I don’t care if it’s bullshit. They’ll take me away from _you_... I can handle her hitting me. I can’t handle _that._ ”

Locus was breathless a moment, watching Felix pant for breath and blush. “Felix…”

“Don’t. Don’t fix this, Locus. I need you. I can make it through _all_ of this, if I can come back to you. I won’t die. I promise you I will come back to you after this.” Felix shook his head and covered his face in his hands. “I’ll make it through this.”

Locus sighed slowly. In the end he didn’t have a solution. He reached out again and pulled Felix gently into his arms. “Please take care of yourself.”

“I will not die. I won’t let her kill me. It’s just three weeks.” Felix sighed against Locus’ chest and gave them a moment of peace before pushing at Locus. “It’s too hot for this, let go. I’m all sweaty. This is so stupid. We were going to get cake.”


	4. Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cake is procured and Locus discusses his family

Cake had ended up costing about $50 for a premade fancy bakery cake. Which seemed a little ridiculous but it was kind of huge and it was fancy so it probably was the kind of rip off that people went for because of that. Felix was pretty sure it was all pretty fucking stupid but he was also really curious what rich people cake tasted like.

Like how different _was_ it from the cake they got on special days at the cafeteria? What did the edible playdough frosting taste like? How do you make chocolate _fancy_? Would it be worth carrying something this huge back to the hotel?

Felix was starting to get worried it would be disappointing when they hit the cool oasis that was the air conditioned lobby of the hotel. 

“Do we have a knife to cut this?” Locus asked. Way too late to be of any use to anyone at all.

Felix made a face and considered for a long moment as they got in the elevator to their room. “...we are monstrous teenagers. Without parental supervision.”

“So just dig in with forks and come what may?” Locus raised an eyebrow and smirked a little as Felix grinned. 

“Hell I’ve had my tongue in your mouth I think we’re past the point of worrying about germs.”

Locus snorted and probably would have tried to cover his face if he hadn’t ended up carrying the cake.

They ended up spending the afternoon on the bed in their boxers watching some marathon of a crime drama and eating the cake with plastic forks. It turned out the playdough frosting tasted like marshmallows, there was vanilla icing under it, and the way you make chocolate fancy is by making it so soft and moist it was _just about_ pudding. 

“Okay, today is also the best day ever. I could probably spend every day watching shitty criminal investigations and eating cake.” Felix stretched out on the bed and yawned widely. “If we didn’t have as much cash as we do I don’t know if it would have been worth $50, but it feels like it was right now.”

Locus smiled, he seemed perfectly content to continue eating, but he also ate a significant amount more than Felix did anyway. “It is very good. An excellent pre-post-whichever Birthday.”

“Excellent! I don’t know if I’ll actually be able to eat food after this…” Felix laughed. “But we have all week to try all of the take out menus if we want to. And you can order food whenever you’re hungry. Like if we wait on my appetite then…” Felix shook his head and shrugged.

“If I can find the strength to stop eating cake and turn to an actual meal I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Locus said dryly and reached to stroke Felix’s hair gently.

“Mmmm…” Felix hummed happily and leaned into the touch. 

Locus watched him for a moment and smiled before moving the cake to a bedside table and leaning in to kiss him. It was hard and hungry and Felix moaned softly against his mouth. Locus rolled over to pin Felix down and wedge himself between his legs. “I think I want you now, though.”

Felix laughed and bit Locus’ lip lightly. “Nerd. Fuck me.”

Locus gave a pleased hum before leaning in to kiss him again.

\---

Locus was pretty sure there was something wrong with having sex with a murder mystery playing in the background but he’d rather happily forgotten about it until they were laying in the afterglow and a woman on the screen started screaming.

Felix snickered and nuzzled Locus’ neck lightly, fingers still lightly tracing over Locus’ abs. “We should do this more often. Just eat cake and fuck while people hunt serial killers on TV.”

“Very productive.” Locus smiled and tilted Felix’s face up to kiss him again. “Probably fewer serial killers in the future.”

“Mmm if you insist.” Felix laughed and relaxed to lay his head on Locus’ shoulder. 

“And we should probably eat real food at some point in the future.” Locus chuckled and played with Felix’s hair gently.

“Spoilsport.” Felix hummed softly. “I’m gonna take a nap. Then we’ll figure out what to do…”

Locus murmured an acknowledgement and kissed the top of his head. As Felix drifted off Locus watched the screen and tried to think of some way to convince Felix to stay with him for three more weeks. 

\---

“So what about your family?” 

“What?” Locus blinked at Felix, half asleep. He’d zoned out as Felix napped, and almost drifted off himself.

“Your family. I know you’re in the system, but like… your bio-fam. What were they like?” Felix rolled onto his stomach and lay his head on Locus’ chest, watching him expectantly.

“I don’t know. I was very young when… I don’t know if they died, or gave me up, or if I was taken from them. It was when I was still a baby I think.” Locus sighed softly and closes his eyes, feeling Felix’s breath against his chest.

“Is it like… a sealed until you’re eighteen kinda thing?”

“Yeah. When I turn eighteen the file becomes available to me.” Locus had never been sure if the topic made him uncomfortable or not. He didn’t like talking about it most of the time. But in general, he didn’t like talking about himself. He liked to think that it wasn’t his past that mattered, that it’s what he did in the present. But he also knew that wasn’t really true. 

“Are you gonna look into it?” Felix was tapping his fingers against his chest lightly.

“I haven’t decided yet…” Locus admitted with a sigh. “On the one hand I want to know about my family… my heritage, that sort of…” He trailed off awkwardly and shook his head. “But I don’t know if I want to know if they gave me up. If they didn’t want me. Or if they did want me and someone took me away. It doesn’t change how I grew up…”

“But if they’re still alive somewhere?”

“I’d feel like I’d have to go meet them. Go learn their stories. But their stories _aren’t_ my story. It means so much to people ‘my father was, my mother was’, I want to know who I am… I don’t… I don’t know if I care who they are.” Locus breathed out slowly, wondering if that made him shallow. “I can’t control who they are, or were… I can’t… really do anything with that. But it’s going to be expected of me. To seek it out.”

“You don’t have to.” Felix kissed his chest lightly and Locus could feel a small smile on his lips. “If they gave you up, fuck ‘em. If they didn’t… well that’s a world that sucks, but it’s the world. If you don’t remember them then all they’ve given you is genetics.”

“Yeah…” Locus has always felt like there was more to it. A history he’s lost. That had always been what mattered to him, but he can’t think of how to word it. “There are things I want to know… but I don’t like how… powerless it makes me.”

“Powerless?”

“It will become something that defines me. Whether I meet them or not, however I ended up away from them, it… answers a part of my identity. Then I have to decide what to do with that. I want to be able to plan my future. Having part of myself undefined until I’m eighteen is… sometimes it feels like it would be easier to ignore it.” Locus sighed and looked down at Felix. His face was pinched thoughtfully as drew absent spirals on Locus’ chest with his fingers.

“I think, knowing you, you would regret ignoring it. You like having information too much. And even when you have the information you’re gonna be eighteen. That’s still plenty of time to decide what to do with it.” Felix shrugged a little. “I mean… if someone’s gonna fuck with you for not makin’ a decision on the spot they’re an asshole…”

“I guess. I have over a year to decide, so…” Locus smiled as he watched Felix and reached up to brush his fingers against his cheek. “I’ll figure it out.”

“I know you will. You’re good at figuring things.” Felix smiled and kissed Locus’ fingers. “I hope the answers are good. Or as good as they can be, I guess…”

“Thanks.”

“Plus if they’re alive and you decide to find them I can come with and scandalise someone. Fake an emergency if you get too uncomfortable so no one has to think you’re rude. Something like that.”

Locus smiled at that. He liked every reminder that Felix included him in future plans. He wanted Felix to be a part of his future, it meant a lot that Felix counted him as part of his own. “We’ll figure a lot of things out when we’re eighteen.”

“Whenever that happens to be.” Felix laughed and crawled up to kiss Locus softly. 

“We’ll figure that out, too.” Locus chuckled softly and kissed him back.

\---

“We went to sleep at the same time.” Locus groaned into his pillow. “How the fuck are you so awake?”

Felix cackled from across the room. “You’re just lazy. That’s not my problem.”

“You wake up from six hours of sleep like a monster.” Locus mumbled and rubbed his eyes. _How_. How did this always happen. It was summer. Summer meant sleeping until noon. Not _six in the morning_.

“So much youthful vigor. It just courses through my veins.” Felix had apparently taken a shower before he’d ended up making enough noise to wake Locus, he was drying his hair and casually naked.

“I hate you right now. Just so you know.” Locus considered getting up. Usually Felix managed to convince him to get up. But it was summer. And 6:07 AM. No teenager should have to be awake at 6:07 AM during summer.

“Go back to sleep, asshole.” Felix hopped back onto the bed and kissed Locus’ forehead. “I’ll put the new laptop to use.”

Locus grumbled a little but buried his face back into his pillow to leave Felix to his unnecessary energy and wifi access.


	5. Swimming and Sorting Hats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking advantage of a pool on a hot day

Locus slept like a log. It was cute in its own way, but sometimes Felix wished Locus was more inclined towards cuddling. Even though Felix wasn’t generally a cuddler, things were different with Locus. Things were _always_ different with Locus. Sometimes Locus would fall asleep with his arms around Felix, or he’d fall asleep _while_ cuddling. But mostly he slept like a log and Felix clung to him like some sort of weird sloth. There was always something so serenely comforting about waking up in Locus’ arms. 

Though there was also the fact that Locus never wanted to be awake very early. Felix woke up early and ready to hit the ground running. He was ready and waiting and falling asleep with Locus brought the awkward dance to untangle and disengage without waking him.

Often Felix failed at not waking him, but Locus usually mumbled something unintelligible and rolled over. Which was pretty fucking cute in and of itself. Locus was adorable half awake and trying to make sense of his surroundings.

When they had school Locus would spend an hour zombie walking through their room putting on his uniform, with periodic breaks to stare into space. Which was always an entertaining show, Locus would just slow down until he was holding his half buttoned shirt and staring fixedly at nothing at all, then eventually, slowly, start moving again. 

Over the summer Locus didn’t seem keen on waking up any time before 10 AM. At least. Which had left Felix with 4 hours to his own devices. He ended up drinking a lot of pepsi, signing his mother up for Netflix so he could use the service and then proceeded to watch a few hours of Daredevil before he lost patience. 

“Locus.” Felix sprawled gently over Locus’ sleeping form and whispered at him. “Wake up.”

“Mmm…” Locus wrinkled his nose and blinked slowly awake to squint at Felix. “What?”

“You sleep too much, sir.” Felix grinned brightly, and it made Locus wince.

“You’re too awake.” Locus brought his hands up to scrub his face. “Teenagers aren’t supposed to do mornings.”

“I’ve always been a freak, what else is new?” Felix laughed and pulled Locus’ hands away so he could kiss him. 

Locus kissed him back with a soft laugh and slowly pushed himself up. “So what have you been doing?”

“I got Netflix. And caffeine. And then bored.” Felix admitted, shifting to sit in Locus’ lap. “There’s so much we can be doing. I want to… I don’t know. A water park, or a fair. Do you think we have either of those? Or a festival. You know like… you read in books like some sort of street party with gross wonderful food and whatever?”

Locus nodded thoughtfully. “I don’t know if there’s a water park, but there’s a pool with a few slides.”

“That sounds awesome.” Felix grinned, then paused. “Wait do you have to swim to go on the slides?”

Locus frowned, considering. “Maybe? I think some empty out into deep pools.”

“I have no idea how to swim… but maybe we can just go to a pool? Get swimsuits and do something like that?” Felix fidgeted and Locus reached to put his hands on Felix’s hips.

“We can look into pools. But if you don’t stop wiggling like that…” He trailed off and kissed Felix deeply.

Felix hummed happily into the kiss and brought his arms up to wrap around Locus’ neck. “Well that’s why the good lord invented showers, babe.”

Locus chuckled and trailed kisses down Felix’s neck, making him squirm. “Then please, feel free to continue.”

\---

It took them another hour at least to leave the hotel. Felix wasn’t going to complain though. Gentle touch was absolutely something he welcomed after this month. It was all he could do to keep from just always be touching Locus in some way. It seemed weird to want to hold his arm or hand as they walked. That was… something. Couple like. Official, maybe? 

Felix didn’t really know what he and Locus were anymore. Friends, definitely. But something else too? Felix didn’t know friendship well enough to be able to say. He knew it wasn’t normal for friends to fuck, but then he fucked _most_ of his friends. He didn’t care about any of them like he cared about Locus. How much that meant he didn’t understand. If there was something romantic then what would it mean for them? What would change?

Felix didn’t know, and the idea of things changing unsettled him. He figured if he didn’t say anything, then things could stay the way they were and he and Locus could just… be. Be whatever they were for just a little longer.

“The pool is probably going to be extremely crowded on a day like this.” Locus commented as they walked towards the nearest rec centre. 

“Well that just means more people to save me from drowning probably.” Felix grinned brightly and Locus sighed.

“Please try not to drown, or I’ll make you wear a life jacket.” Locus patted Felix’s head gently.

“Ugh, jerk.” Felix laughed though, he really did love when Locus touched him.

The pool _was_ crowded. But one of the less popular ones in town so Felix and Locus still managed to make their way in. It may have looked odd for two teenagers to stick to the shallows but it was deep enough to cool off and float on the waves and get as much of the experience as they needed. The slide did empty out into a deep pool so Felix wasn’t able to ride it, but he had a good enough time in the wave pool that it didn’t really matter in the end.

“How long does it take to learn to swim, do you think? You think I could figure it out after we graduate?” Felix grabbed Locus’ arm as a wave pushed him back and hit Locus like he was a wall. 

“If you want to learn, there are probably adult lessons.” Locus suggested, pulling him back through the water.

“Could be worth it.” Felix laughed as he splashed through the water. He didn’t care very much if he looked childish at this point. No one who saw him here was going to see him again and remember.

He did notice that people stared a little at his bruises. That wasn’t entirely new. Half his conversations with people this week involved someone staring at his black eye instead of actual eye contact. The older he got the less bruises could be brushed off as ‘boys will be boys,’ it had been easy as a child. Young boys were supposed to play rough and run into things. If he grinned and said he fell in the playground no one blinked at it.

Now though… Scars on his eye and his hands, old enough to know better… there was no good excuse for it. He figured most people thought it was fighting. It actually _was_ fighting a lot of the time, so it didn’t feel like much of a misjudgement. 

It was annoying though. People didn’t think that he could see them looking. People acted like he was on display somehow, free game to stare and whisper but never really acknowledge. He hated people.

“What do you wanna get to eat after this? Like a real sit down meal at a restaurant?” Felix bounced with the flow of the waves and Locus considered his question.

“We did pick up a bunch of gift cards for a handful of restaurants in the area.” Locus nodded. “Maybe pizza?”

“Man I haven’t had pizza that wasn’t school pizza. I definitely want to try fancy pizza.” Felix grinned and turned his attention away from the stares. 

\---

Felix looked just the slightest bit green as they were seated at the pizza place. “I think I swallowed water. I still feel like I’m being hit by waves.”

Locus nodded and hung his braid over his shoulder so it wouldn’t soak the back of his shirt. There was only so much to be done about a sodden braid. “Wave pools have that effect. You’ll probably feel it at random when we go to sleep, too.”

“There’s a dirty joke in that but I’m too dizzy to come up with it.” Felix made a face and flipped through the menu. 

“I’m sure you’ll make up for it later.” Locus said dryly and Felix snorted.

“So I’ve been thinking.” Felix said abruptly.

“Well that’s never a foreboding sentence.” Locus didn’t look up from his menu but was still listening.

“I think you should definitely look into your file. Like. When you can.” Felix leaned back in his seat and gestured with his hands. “It’s like… no matter who they end up being the end result was you. And you’re gonna be you no matter who they are. But ‘cause you’re you, you’ll totally be bothered not knowing. So like. I think not knowing, for you, would be the worse of the options.” 

Locus nodded slowly. “You’re probably right. Even if it turns out they’re dead and there was nothing to learn, I wouldn’t be living with not knowing.” He closed his menu and looked up. “I want to be in control of who I am… that’s. That’s probably not going to change whether I find out how I was born or not.”

“That’s what I mean. You’re always gonna be you. And accessing that information that’s taking control too. How you act on it… it’s all still up to you.” Felix smiled and reached to squeeze Locus’ hand a little. “No matter what, you’re you. And you’re the one who made _you_ happen.”

Locus smiled and turned his hand to squeeze Felix’s. “Do you have a father?”

“What? I mean like. Technically. At some point someone fucked my mom.” Felix wrinkled his nose but didn’t take his hand back. “I don’t really know anything about him. My mom hates him too, but I think he’s in prison? Like I don’t know if she was being honest about that but she said he was in jail. And in China. So, like…” Felix shrugged. “It’s not as important to me. I’ve already got proof my biological family is shit. I don’t need to meet the part that was actually convicted.”

Locus nodded and squeezed Felix’s hand again. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. I don’t need another family member to kick me around.” Felix made a face. “I’m lucky enough to’ve had my mother and uncle. Don’t need any more. Kinda curious sometimes. When I was a kid I used to think one day he’d show up and take me away… but probably he’s as shitty as they were. And now that I’m older I know my mother’d never claim him as my father. Even if he wasn’t shitty he wouldn’t’ve been able to take me away.”

Locus nodded and threaded his fingers through Felix’s. It seemed like a very intimate gesture, but it also felt natural. It was a raw conversation, Locus couldn’t just pull Felix into his arms but he wanted to hold him in some way.

“Then I started just imagining Hagrid’d show up or something.” Felix grinned and shrugged a little. “I mean my closet isn’t under the stairs, and I guess in the end my Hogwarts sucks, but… I think I could make a decent Harry Potter.” 

Locus snorted. “There is not a single thing decent about you and you know it.”

“What house d’you think you’d be in?” Felix laughed and leaned in. “You’ve read ‘em, right? I used to read ‘em all the time. I should get a set of my own, now I’ve got money.”

“I was never sure… A lot of them kind of felt like bragging. Like if I was declaring myself brave or smart or something.” Locus looked uncertain.

“Well I’m pretty sure I’m probably Slytherin ‘cause I’m an asshole.” Felix grinned.

“I don’t know you’re not the most ambitious person I’ve ever met.”

“Oh fuck you, I have ambitions. They just don’t involve school much. There are a lotta ways to be great.” Felix stuck out his tongue. “You’re probably Ravenclaw ‘cause you’re a nerd.”

Locus considered that. “I do take school seriously…”

“ _But_ you’re also super focused on your future. You’re not a nerd ‘cause you wanna learn you’re a nerd ‘cause you wanna be _better_.” Felix grinned. “I take it back. We can be Slytherins together.”

Locus smiled and looked down at their hands. It was a small gesture, an easy sentence, but it proved that Felix watched him. That he knew something about Locus without being told. It was a little reminder that Felix bothered paying attention that made him feel warm. 

\---

Laying in bed that evening, spent and feeling floaty, Felix considered how fast 3 days went by. There were only 4 more left. 

He wondered if he could just go downstairs and hand them cash for more days, but that probably wasn’t how hotels worked. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d considered just running off. How much worse could life on the streets be than life in his house? He’d done it once in junior high. Spent a week drifting from alley to alley. It had been summer, so no cold to bite and no school to notice his absence. But in the end he knew how to live with his mother. He didn’t know anything about how to live life on the streets.

That had been when his mother had broken his ribs. For disappearing like he had. What was she going to do, after all? If he turned up dead the police would want to know why she hadn’t reported him missing. If she reported him missing they’d know what she’d done. 

He wondered if she’d be that furious when he went back in 4 days. She didn’t drink as much back then. She might not have noticed he was gone yet. Without him there to bang on the door maybe she’d forget about him.

He was a little afraid of what he’d return to, but he knew he’d keep his promise to Locus. No matter what he was returning to Charon in September. It was all he could think of all through July. None of it mattered because he was leaving in September. Then it was 10 months of being something like human.

He could make it through 3 weeks for that. He thought maybe this week could give him the strength for that. After this week he could live until September and find Locus again.


	6. Something Like A Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lazy days and birthday presents

They didn’t do anything on the fourth day. Swimming was an exercise Felix wasn’t used to and he woke up aching. They’d soaked in the tub and Locus had rubbed Felix’s aching muscles and they’d eaten butter chicken and watched random documentaries on the History Channel. 

It was small and quiet but there was something about just doing nothing with Felix that felt comfortable. The didn’t need adventure, or wild trips or anything like that. Locus thought he could probably lie in bed with Felix all day and be perfectly content. Slow kisses and no dramatic revelations. Just bad documentaries about aliens and Felix curled up in his arms.

It was something like a perfect day. They talked about nonsense, looked up bullshit on the internet, ate a significant amount of junk food and took naps just whenever.

“I didn’t think doing nothing could be so… Okay.” Felix yawned, laying half sprawled on top of Locus. “It’s a lot better with you. I’m glad you put up with me this long.”

Locus smiled as he ran his fingers through Felix’s hair. “My life is better with you in it.”

“Sap.” Felix breathed a laugh and hid his face against Locus’ chest. “Mine too. I’m glad we got to be alive at the same time.”

“Now who’s the sap?” 

“Shut up, you started it.”

Locus smiled and shifted Felix so he could hold him properly. 

“Move with me. Like. When we graduate. When we’re adults. Let’s get a place. A little place probably but. You and me. I’ll get a job and you’ll go to college and we can just… do _this_ on weekends. And the scariest thing we’ll have to deal with is finals and Black Friday.” Felix pressed his face against Locus’ neck and rambled fast. “God I’ll be your housewife. Whatever you need. Just. Please stay with me.”

Locus squeezed Felix in his arms and kissed the top of his head. “I never want to leave your side. I could do this forever.”

Felix laughed against his neck and curled up against him. “How do you always do that. You always make it so easy. I’ve been trying to come up with a way to say that all day.”

“You talk too much.” Locus smiled. “You don’t need so many words to convince me. You already have me.”

“Asshole.”

\---

Felix stretched as he watched Locus sleep the next morning. As always, it seemed, he was up earlier than the common teenager would find practical. And most adults Felix guessed by the lack of movement outside.

He couldn’t exactly put a pin in why, except maybe that there was never anything to do after school he got used to just going to sleep early and waking up earlier. It was a good few hours before anything but coffee shops and big chain grocery stores opened, but Felix considered his options anyway.

He did have some shopping he wanted to get done away from Locus’ attention. He just didn’t know how long it would take. Or if any store he wanted would be anywhere near open. For all adults seemed to want teens to wake up between 5-6 AM nothing opened before 9. He wondered what that was in training for. Maybe business days started that early, but from the phrase “9 to 5” it sounded more like it was an experiment in torturing people like Locus. 

Either way he shoved his new laptop in his new messenger bag and left Locus a note. He could kill some time without worrying about waking Locus up, and hopefully at some point find what he was looking for in stores.

\---

“Went shopping and shit so I didn’t wake your lazy ass up. If you DID wake up before I get back bullshit write it down so I can know when you wake up naturally.

You complete fucking zombie.

Felixoxox”

Locus wondered absently how ironically Felix intended the Xs and Os to come across, or if he just intended it as an obnoxiously cutesy way to end the note.

Either way Locus scratched his head and looked at the clock, then back to the note. It was almost noon. He wasn’t sure what that said about his sleep schedule except that without either Felix or someone living in his foster home waking him he could sleep for about ten hours.

He wondered briefly if that was normal for teenagers, then looked back at the note. It didn’t say where Felix was shopping, or when he was going to return to the hotel. Charon didn’t allow cellphones, so they’d decided it would be a waste to buy any, so there was no way to reach out to him.

It left Locus with nothing he could really do except wait for Felix to get back. He’d slept through the complimentary breakfast though… he was going to have to figure that out, too. 

\---

“Went to find brains.

Yours,

A Complete Fucking Zombie

PS - Now you have to guess when I woke up.”

Felix snorted at the note as he kicked off his boots and looked around the room. “Nerd.”

It worked out though, because now he could unpack his shopping without giving everything away. He’d figured since he couldn’t exactly store things until school started he’d just get actual birthday presents now. Even if it was a month early. There had even been a gift wrapping service at the one store he stopped at, which was weird but extremely convenient because Felix had no idea how to wrap a gift properly.

He set out his collection of boxes on the bed and set out to wait until Locus returned, feeling excited and hopeful. This time he’d bought gifts with slightly less dramatic panic. And had not accidentally bought his best friend a wedding ring. Which was a certain level of weird he didn’t really feel like delving into. He still really liked that Locus wore it, though. 

Locus returned shortly after he finished setting things out with takeout bags hanging on his arms. “What’s this?”

“I didn’t wanna buy your birthday present with you watching. _So_ I took advantage of your sleeping all the goddamn time.” Felix grinned brightly. “What’d you get to eat?”

“Breakfast sandwiches from the cafe down the street.” Locus handed one package to Felix.

“Wow they still serve breakfast this late?” Felix laughed and unwrapped his sandwich.

“Some people understand that during the summer normal humans don’t function in the AM.” Locus said dryly and set his own on the table. “You didn’t have to go out and get anything. You set up this whole week.”

“Yeah but I _wanted_ to.” Felix rolled his eyes and took a bite out of his sandwich. “Open that one first. It’s my favourite.”

\---

Locus smiled absently at Felix and picked up the smallest box, wondering if he could sneak out while Felix napped to return the favour. He hadn’t thought of birthday presents when they’d done so much shopping. He’d thought the extent of the ‘birthday’ party had been the cake.

The first box contained a watch, it looked like it was made out of wood and had a leather strap and was actually very nice. “You like giving me jewelry.” 

He took it out of the box and fit it to his wrist, it had already been set to the proper time.

“Does a watch count as jewelry? Shit. I just thought it looked like the kind of cool thing you’d like.” Felix made a bit of a face and shrugged.

“I do like it.” Watches were still very convenient when cellphones weren’t a thing in their lives. “Thank you.”

The next packages were assorted grooming products. Professional grade shampoos and conditioners, body wash, lotion, deodorant. He raised an eyebrow at Felix, “Should I take this as a hint.”

“Shut up, you hate the smell of the school soap too. And you got so much hair, you obviously want to take care of it.” Felix rolled his eyes and continued slowly nibbling at his sandwich. “You’re too practical to buy ridiculous things for. And school’s too restricting. So this actually made sense and was useful and shit, right?”

Locus smiled and leaned to kiss Felix’s forehead lightly. “Thank you. You’re right, this will all be very useful to me.”

“Well good.” Felix laughed and relaxed with Locus’ approval. “I considered getting us a coffee maker for the dorm, but I didn’t wanna carry it.”

“We’ll consider it later, then.” Locus picked up the bundles of bottles and set them on the table and picked up his own sandwich. 

“Mm…” Felix hummed thoughtfully and leaned against Locus as he sat down. “Happy early Birthday.”

“Thank you.” Locus leaned to kiss him gently. 

\---

Locus stood in the bookstore unsure, he wanted something that Felix could enjoy at home as well as at school. Which seemed to mean something that didn’t take up space, but would take up time. Felix enjoyed reading, he’d described it as the best escape and now that Locus had seen his home, he understood why. 

When the saleswoman had approached him, he’d explained the basics of what he was looking for and had accepted the offer of an ereader. He’d then gotten her advice on books and her help purchasing and loading them off the website. In the end he’d used up a lot of her time, so he filled out a comment card hoping that made up for taking her away from her job for so long.

Felix had woken up from his nap when Locus returned to the hotel and grinned at him.

“I hadn’t realised we were doing birthday presents.” Locus admitted with a bit of a blush as he handed the gift bag over to him.

Felix laughed as he took the bag. “You are such a nerd. That wasn’t like. A challenge to go out and buy _me_ something.”

“We’re celebrating your birthday, too. So… that means if I’m getting birthday presents you are too.” Locus shrugged and felt very awkward. He hoped the gift went over well.

“What is it?” Felix pulled the little machine and its cords out of the bag. Locus had had to open the official packaging to load books onto it.

“It’s an ereader. There are a bunch of digital books on it. I thought… I guessed and got some help picking the books, but I hope you like it. I know you said you wanted your own Harry Potter, but I got the series in digital too. And I know you like mysteries and horror. Or you take those out from the library the most.” Locus bit his tongue as he realised he was rambling to keep from panicking. It was starting to sound really stupid. But at least Felix was responding a lot better to this present than the last one. “Also the charge is supposed to last two months. I couldn’t remember if you had a plug-in in your room, but it should still last until school starts. If… if you really have to go back there…”

Felix watched Locus slowly run out of steam then looked over the device before grinning. “You’re too fucking good at this. You always think of things I’d want but wouldn’t think to get myself.”

Locus breathed a sigh of relief as Felix set it down and got up to wrap his arms around Locus. Locus hugged him back and kissed the top of his head. “It’s also durable, so you can hide it if you need to without worrying about it.”

“Stop worrying about it.” Felix’s voice was muffled against Locus’ chest. “You just made it all a lot easier. Stop worrying. Thank you. I love it.”

Slowly Locus relaxed and rubbed Felix’s back gently and tried to think of other things he could do to make the end of the week any easier. “Happy… something like a birthday.”

Felix laughed and pulled Locus back towards the bed.


	7. Summer's End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things come to an end

Locus woke at the reasonable hour of 9:00AM to the chirping of an alarm from his new watch. Felix was looking at him from the table where he’d set himself up with his laptop to keep from annoying Locus. 

“The watch wasn’t supposed to be a hint, but that _is_ a handy feature.” Felix called and Locus groaned as he pushed himself up out of bed.

“I… am taking a shower.” Locus announced slowly, still dragging himself out of sleep. “Then we’re going survival shopping. I had a plan. I’ll remember the plan after I shower.”

Felix’s eyebrows went up, but he seemed too amused by Locus stumbling to the bathroom to comment.

He knew, technically, that the grooming products were for school, but he wanted to demonstrate that he liked them, so he brought them with him. The shampoo and conditioner made his hair feel softer than Locus knew his hair could feel and the body wash made him feel more awake. He was going to appreciate _that_ a lot when it came to waking up at six for school. The lotions and deodorant made him smell pretty good, he thought. A little more adult than the usual Old Spice and whatever was on sale.

“Survival shopping?” Felix finally asked when Locus emerged dressed and braiding his hair from the bathroom.

“You’re insisting on going back to your mother’s home.” Locus stated bluntly, still tired and a little frustrated that he hadn’t thought of an out yet.

“Locus.” Felix sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“No. I’m. I’m not okay with you going back, but that’s. You get to make that call.” Locus tied off his braid and let it fall down his back. “But I’m making some conditions.”

Felix scowled and crossed his arms but let Locus list his conditions. 

“I get that you don’t have access to much, so we’re getting things like… MREs, and water bottles. You need to keep eating even if you can’t leave your room. Proper blankets and pillows or something.”

Felix sighed and shook his head. “It’s the middle of summer I don’t need blankets. I don’t know how much of this stuff I’m going to be able to keep.”

“I know.” Locus sighed. “So we keep it simple. MREs are made to be small and compact. You can probably hide them under your mat, water bottles will be hard to hide but if your mother takes them she could kill you. I don’t know how well you can make her understand that?”

“I can try.” Felix shrugged a little.

“And… we’re getting a proper first aid kit. And a lot of instant cold packs, since, as you said, it is summer.” Locus pulled out a notebook from his school supplies and started writing things down. “An emergency cell phone. I know you don’t want to contact authorities, but if you need to…”

Felix sighed and walked over to him. “How much have you been obsessing over this?”

“Since I saw your room.” Locus kept his tone even. He hoped it carried the weight he wanted it to. He didn’t approve and he wanted the situation changed but couldn’t do anything about it. Except this. “So you’ll have meals, water, cold, first aid, emergency contact…”

“Locus…”

“No, Felix. I understand you’ve survived well enough without this. But…” Locus chewed his lip and looked over at him. Felix’s eye was no longer swollen, just bruised, the split on his lip had mostly healed, his arms were covered in sickly green patches with a little bit of purple. His injuries had gone down. “I am making sure you’re safe. That’s the only way I’ll accept this.”

Felix’s expression pinched and he bounced on his toes as he looked at the list, then back to Locus. “Fine. Fine we’ll figure… something. We’ll figure some things out. Where do we even get half of this shit?”

“I’ve been looking it up online. We might need to call a cab but I think we can figure it out…” Locus relaxed with Felix’s agreement and turned back to the list.

\---

Felix had been surprised they had even had a military supply store in their city. Apparently they were popular for Survivalists. Which was lucky because it made things like buying a $150 first aid kit and a month’s worth of MREs completely understandable. Somehow. Though as much as he begrudged the fact that Locus was taking care of him again, the idea of having something to eat for the next three weeks was nice. It felt a little less terrifying going back knowing there was some sort of support system.

Hell maybe his mother would be too drunk to notice the new additions. It had happened before.

The phone had turned out to be trickier. Pre-paid still seemed to need a plan for a lot of situations, but eventually they got the point across what they were looking for and Felix had become the proud new owner of an ancient looking flip phone with $50 worth of minutes or texts on it. He thought that was a bit overboard for an emergency phone but Locus had really wanted to make sure he would be okay.

Water and cold packs were the easiest. They were at every grocery and drugstore, so they paid another visit to Wal-Mart. Where Locus also picked out a big comfy looking pillow and told him to take it and see how it went. 

Felix had to admit a pillow would make things a lot more comfortable.

In the end, sitting on the bed he looked at his pile of supplies and considered that the next three weeks probably wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it would be.

Probably.

If his mother wasn’t _pissed_.

He had books and food and water… Locus was taking the laptop with him because there was no way to hide that effectively, the same with a lot of the clothes and supplies they’d bought over the week. Felix would take the essentials with him tomorrow, and Locus would store the rest in his home. 

“We forgot to look at coffee makers.” Felix commented absently as he went over to sort everything again. 

“I can look into that later.” Locus sat down beside him and helped him sort.

He didn’t want to admit to being terrified. It had never mattered before. It was just how life _was_. It was frightening, sure. It would be stupid not to be scared when your life was in danger. But it had never felt so… wrong.

Summers were always hell. Summers his mother forgot him for days, and meant boredom, heat, dehydration and fevers. Summers meant no one to notice the bruises and no one to hide from. Summer meant no one kept his mother in check.

Summer used to mean prolonged trips to his uncle’s apartment, and his chest felt tight whenever he thought of that. It took a long time to convince himself that the man was dead, he wouldn’t have to visit ever again.

He didn’t really think before he reached and took Locus’ hand. He just needed that solidity, Locus slowly pulled him into his arms and Felix moved with him.

“I’m going to be okay.” Felix reassured, he wasn’t entirely sure who he was talking to. Locus seemed convinced Felix was going to die. Felix knew it wouldn’t be that bad… but it was going to suck. If he was lucky nothing got broken. If he was less lucky he’d actually get treated if something got broken.

He wondered again how much worse it would be to just run away, but without his mother’s funding he didn’t go to Charon. And right now the only thing that mattered to him was that he got to see Locus again after this.

“I put my number in your phone, too. If you need something, but can’t call the police call me.” Locus kissed his temple gently and Felix focused on breathing.

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes and just felt Locus breathing against him. “Okay we need to do something cool tonight. Like fancy dinner or movie or both or… something. It’s not over yet. We’re not just… just giving up and rolling over.”

“All right. Dinner and a movie we can do.” Locus smiled and squeezed him a little.

\---

Dinner was Felix’s first experience with sushi and Locus had smiled as he explained the dishes. They’d tried little bits of everything and Felix ate more than he’d eaten at once all month. It was delicious, even if he felt a little sick afterward.

He gave in to the impulse to hold onto Locus’ arm as they walked to the theatre and ignored the worry about what it made them. It was obvious people thought they were a couple, men didn’t touch this casually in public, technically. Felix didn’t give a shit. He was used to people giving him strange looks.

The movie was kind of stupid, but because of that it was fun. Watching things explode and people fight and shout dramatically as he leaned his head against Locus’ shoulder. It was a little bit perfect. He could trap this moment in his mind and hold onto it. He memorised all of it, the heat of Locus’ hand in his, the slight hint of a smile on his face, a full stomach and the salt of popcorn in his mouth. If he could keep this moment, three weeks wasn’t going to be long. He could handle it. He could just close his eyes and remember this.

\---

Locus kissed him like a starved man. Felix grabbed his shirt as they fell into the bed and tossed it aside. He didn’t want to ever stop touching Locus. He locked his legs around his hips and grasped at Locus like he was going to lose him. He wanted to remember every inch of Locus’ body, the desperate heat of the kiss that made him gasp, the strength of Locus’ hands against his own body. 

He felt needy and hungry for Locus’ touch, pushing into his hands and pulling him closer. “Fuck. Fuck, Locus.” He moaned against Locus’ mouth and bit his lip. 

“I need you.” Locus’ voice was deep and husky and Felix couldn’t help but shiver as he moved to suck a kiss behind his hear.

“Please. Please. Yes.” Felix didn’t care how needy he sounded. He needed Locus too. He needed to remember this. When nights were empty and lonely and all he had were memories, he needed Locus. 

He needed to remember the touch, pleasure, the sound of his voice, and that graze of teeth. He needed all of him. 

“ _Please_.”

\---

Check out was at noon and Felix felt like he wanted nothing more than to barricade the door and refuse to leave. It hurt so much more than he expected. Even as he once again made sure everything was accounted for and in the right pile and right bag and ready to go to the right house. He wanted to scream.

_3 weeks. 3 weeks. 3 weeks._

It seemed like forever now that it was upon him. How was he supposed to make this. How could he handle going back to that now that he’d had it good? This had been a terrible idea. At least when all he knew was awful, the awful had felt normal. Now it felt so much worse. Now he knew what Locus’ soft touch at the small of his back felt like how could he handle a beating? Now that he knew how to wake up in Locus’ arms how could he wake up cold and alone? 

He didn’t want to do this, but he knew he had to. If he wanted to get what he wanted then he needed to do this. No matter how sick and terrified it made him.

“S-so we stop by your place and drop the things off at your place. Then we infiltrate mine.” Felix breathed evenly as Locus wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“Are we still planning to search for your birth certificate?” Locus kissed the top of his head and Felix took a shaking breath.

“First we smuggle everything into my room. Then we can try searching.” Felix’s stomach hurt so much. He had to let Locus into his room for this. _He_ had to go back to his room. He hated this.

“All right.” 

Felix just stood with him for a moment before finally sighing. “Let’s call the cab and get moving, then. I guess.”

\---

His mother wasn’t home when they got there. Felix had no idea what fucking god of luck they had pleased with that but they’d been able to sneak in and plant everything in his room so it was the least noticeable.

Felix had gotten so used to the smell over the past month, but it was fresh again and hard to deal with. Easier for him than for Locus, though. He understood part of Locus’ expression was rage, but he knew also the smell was sickening.

“We shoulda bought Febreze.” Felix tried to joke as they tucked the last MRE under the horrible mat he slept on.

“This really isn’t funny, Felix.” Locus said quietly as he straightened and looked harder at the scribbled on walls. 

“I know.” Felix sighed. “Let’s. Let’s look around. Probably the kitchen? Maybe the office. I don’t know where she’d put it. Logical people would hide it in the office?”

Locus nodded and let Felix lead him out of the horrible room and into a larger room with filing cabinets and bookshelves and a computer. It was such a dramatic contrast, how his mother kept the rest of the house. 

Felix didn’t know how she did it. He knew she couldn’t call a maid with the risk of finding him, but maybe while he was at school?

He was elbow deep in a filing cabinet when he heard the front door open. The alarm system sent a little beep through the whole house and Felix lept to his feet. “Get out.”

“Wh--”

“Locus. Get out. You know where the back door is right? You have to leave.” Felix felt like he was going to throw up. This was going to be so awful. How had he thought this would be okay? What had he been thinking? He should have just sent Locus away as soon as they finished. What the fuck did his birth certificate matter?

“I’m not just leaving you.” Locus came to stand at his side and Felix almost screamed.

“You have to. You have to go. God damn it.” Felix covered his face with his hands and tried to breathe. “I’ll see you in September, please, please, _please_. You have to _go_.” He reached and pushed Locus out the door and ran to his room. “Please.”

“Felix, you don’t have to do this.” Locus followed him, fought him as he tried to close the door. 

Felix felt like his heart was going to give out it was beating so hard. “ _Please_. Locus, I know you want to help but you _can’t_ anymore. You’ve done so much, but you have to _go_.” He choked and pushed Locus back. “You’re going to make things worse if you stay. I need you to _leave_. _Please_.”

The hurt look on Locus’ face made Felix want to break down, but he let go of the door. He let Felix close it, jaw clenched and hands bunched into fists.

“Please I need you. I need you to lock it. I need you to leave. Please.” The idea that she wouldn’t hurt Locus like she hurt _him_ didn’t occur to him. All Felix could think was this was the only way to make Locus safe as he pushed the door closed and leaned his head against it. “I’ll see you in September.”

There was a long stretch of silence, and Felix kept his forehead against the door. He was breathing hard, hurting himself trying to keep it quiet, trying to hear if Locus left, if his mother was coming, anything. 

The click of the deadbolt falling into place seemed deafening. It made his legs feel weak, but he didn’t let himself fall until he heard Locus’ footsteps fade away.

“Please please make it out.” Felix felt himself choke out as he closed his eyes and waited for the beep that signalled an opening door.

\---

Locus felt like a monster. Like the worst kind of person anyone could possibly be. He felt numb, and cold, and empty and terrified and he hated himself. He should have tried harder, pushed more. He should have just pulled Felix out of the house. He should have stood up to that woman.

But Felix had begged so desperately, been so afraid. Felix had pushed and asked and Felix didn’t get control. So much of Felix’s life was decided for him, what right did Locus have to take the little bit of choice he got away from him?

He ran as hard as he could, he didn’t know anymore where he was running to, just away. He felt like he needed to push himself, feel the strain on his muscles, run until breathing hurt and his body punished him as much as his mind did. 

He’d locked him in. _He’d_ locked the door. And somehow he was pretty sure the sound of a deadbolt turning was going to haunt him until he died. 

_September_. Fuck he was so scared of what might happen until then.

He should just go to the police. His foster family. His social worker. This was so wrong. Everything about this was so wrong. 

Locus felt like each breath was stripping skin from his lungs and he finally stumbled to a stop by a park bench.

Felix didn’t get to decide what happened to him. He didn’t get a choice about anything in his life. Except this. And he’d chosen this, he’d fought Locus so he could do _this_. So he could come back in September.

Locus thought maybe he was going to throw up.

Felix was going through this so that he could see Locus again in September, and Locus had locked him in.

He crouched by the bench, clutching it tight in his hands as he tried _so hard_ to breathe. Tried to forget Felix’s desperation, tried to forget the sound of a deadbolt falling into place.

_September_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on the beginning of the school year now. Depending on how cooperative my brain is, it might be a couple days until I start uploading. Year 2 is being finicky.


End file.
